Why are we afraid of the future?

I confess that I’m going through a bit of a quarter life crisis at the moment. My undergraduate life will officially be over in a few weeks time when I don my $125 regalia and walk down the hallowed turf of the Royal Exhibition Building to receive my shiny graduation certificate. 

So what now?

Should I try my luck at job-hunting? Maybe I should try and secure a full-time internship? Or perhaps I’m better off doing further studies?

Before, the Future was something distant, something that I could delay and think about later. But the truth is that the Future slowly creeps up on you until, suddenly, it melds into your Present.

We all go through periods of doubt and uncertainty when we wonder just what our Future would become. Fear of the Future is primarily a fear of failure. We are afraid that years of education and training and hard work will amount to nothing. We are afraid that our lives will be meaningless. We are afraid of being left behind while our friends move on with their lives.

Over the past two years, I have applied for numerous casual positions, internships, volunteer work and full-time jobs and have been unsuccessful most of the time.

I guess you can say I’m an optimist in that every time I apply, I honestly believe that I would succeed. But that doesn’t mean that it’s doesn't hurt when the rejection email turns up in your inbox. 

Each time I open an email thanking me for my unsuccessful application, I feel like I’ve wasted my time. I  devoted countless hours preparing my CV and crafted my cover letter to perfection. It's like I've made a big mistake and I regret I having applied in the first place. The next emotion is then self-doubt: If I can’t even get a volunteer position now, how could I possibly find a job in the future?

But the truth is that there really are no mistakes in life. There is a quote that I came across a while ago:

In a sense, there is no such thing as ‘failure’ because every time you encounter disappointment, it teaches you something about yourself. It makes you a stronger person.

Now, when I apply for a job or internship position, I still send in my CV hoping that I will get the job. But I don't wait around for their email or their phone call (that is, if they choose to respond at all). I go on and live my own life and control the things I can control. The rest will take care of itself.

And when I do receive an email notifying me of my unsuccessful application, I still do get a tinge of disappointment, but I move on from it pretty quickly. If I can't get this position, then there might be something else, something better waiting for me just a little further down the road.

Making a decision about the Future is difficult because everyone has an opinion on what you should do with your life. Your parents might want you to continue studying until you start sprouting grey hair from your eyebrows. Your friends might want you to enter the workforce with them. 

But I believe that, deep down, we all know what we want for our future. What complicates our plans is whether our future is the future that others want for us.

We all have an innate desire to please others. We do what we know will make our parents proud or that will get the approval of our friends or the respect of society. But some things in life are just too important to be decided based on what others think of us. We should make a decision based on what we want and do something that will make us proud.

We sometimes stay at the crossroads, delaying the moment when we have to choose which path to take. The reason for our hesitation is because we are afraid of the future. We are afraid of making the wrong choice, that once we go down a path, we can never go back. It’s almost as if one path leads to success while the other leads to failure.

But that's not true.

In the end, the two paths will merge again. One path may take longer than the other. It may have more hills and troughs. The road may be rocky and winding and seem to be never-ending. But if you continue to move forward with your life, through the good times and the bad, you will emerge a stronger and wiser person.